Guide to First Time Sex
There can be a lot of pressure when having sexual intercourse for the first time. Having sex with someone just because you want to lose your virginity, or because you think all your friends are doing it, is something you may regret later.
You might feel lots of anxieties, especially the first time you have sexual intercourse. You may feel embarrassed about how you look without your clothes on, or worried about your privacy being disturbed. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication will really help to prevent you feeling embarrassed or worried. You should be able to talk to your partner about how you feel about having sex for the first time, and about any concerns you may have. Your partner might be worried, too. Being relaxed and able to share things with your partner will really ease the tension. And if you're too shy, or you're not able to talk about these things with your partner - then you probably shouldn't be having sex!
There are a lot of things to consider when making the decision to have sex for the first time. Here are some of the things one should think about before having sex, as well as some of the concerns that can come up for after having sex for the first time.
You might feel lots of anxieties, especially the first time you have sexual intercourse. You may feel embarrassed about how you look without your clothes on, or worried about your privacy being disturbed. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication will really help to prevent you feeling embarrassed or worried. You should be able to talk to your partner about how you feel about having sex for the first time, and about any concerns you may have. Your partner might be worried, too. Being relaxed and able to share things with your partner will really ease the tension. And if you're too shy, or you're not able to talk about these things with your partner - then you probably shouldn't be having sex!
There are a lot of things to consider when making the decision to have sex for the first time. Here are some of the things one should think about before having sex, as well as some of the concerns that can come up for after having sex for the first time.
Is this the right decision for me?
Many young people experience a lot of pressure from their peers to engage in sexual activity. While sex can be very fun, with it comes a lot of responsibility, and you should really be sure that you are ready for it. Make sure that this is something that you want to do because you want to have sex, not because someone else expects you to.
If you aren't sure whether you're ready, then you're probably not. Don't feel pressured by your friends . . . just because other teens say they've had sex, doesn't mean you have to. And anyway, are you sure they're telling the truth? Never do anything that both you and your partner aren't totally comfortable with.
What's important is that you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Being safe means not only thinking about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases but also the emotional risks.
If you aren't sure whether you're ready, then you're probably not. Don't feel pressured by your friends . . . just because other teens say they've had sex, doesn't mean you have to. And anyway, are you sure they're telling the truth? Never do anything that both you and your partner aren't totally comfortable with.
What's important is that you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Being safe means not only thinking about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases but also the emotional risks.
Take precautions.
If you're mature enough to be thinking about having sex, you should be mature enough to be able to discuss condoms. Just because someone's a virgin, it doesn't mean they definitely don't have a sexually transmitted infection such as HIV, although it does reduce the chances.
Is this the right person for me to have sex with?
Some people may be ready to have sex, and it does not matter to them who the first person is. However, be aware that after having sex with someone (especially for the first time), you may become emotionally attached to them. If your virginity is something that you hold to a very high esteem, we hope that you decide to share your first experience with someone you really trust and care for.
Are you prepared?
Sex is something that should be planned, and not spur of the moment. You need to be responsible for your safety with adequate protection. This may include carrying around a condom to use when the moment arrives, or seeing a doctor about starting in on hormonal birth control. Using both methods would be preferable, as a hormonal form of birth control is more reliable for preventing pregnancy, and condoms are the only reliable protector against STDs and STIs.
Is it normal for me to bleed?
Many women bleed their first few times having sex; many women also do not bleed at all. Either way is completely normal. The bleeding that some women experience is caused by the tearing of the hymen, which is a thin piece of skin that covers the opening of the female genital. As you have intercourse, the hymen is usually torn, and pushed aside to allow room for the male genital. Sometimes, this results in bleeding. Many women bleed the first few times they have sex. This is nothing to be concerned about, as the hymen is still being pulled in new directions.
Many women do not bleed at all their first time having sex. This is not to say that they are not virgins, it merely means that they have already torn their hymen during a different activity. The hymen may be torn through such activities as gymnastics, bicycle riding, or even inserting a tampon. Scientists are not even convinced that all women are born with hymens. Therefore, during your first time of having sex, the presence (or lack thereof) of blood should not concern you.
Note: If you continue bleeding heavily after your first few times having sex, or if you continue bleeding many hours after your first sexual experience, please consult a doctor.
Many women do not bleed at all their first time having sex. This is not to say that they are not virgins, it merely means that they have already torn their hymen during a different activity. The hymen may be torn through such activities as gymnastics, bicycle riding, or even inserting a tampon. Scientists are not even convinced that all women are born with hymens. Therefore, during your first time of having sex, the presence (or lack thereof) of blood should not concern you.
Note: If you continue bleeding heavily after your first few times having sex, or if you continue bleeding many hours after your first sexual experience, please consult a doctor.
Can you get pregnant your first time?
Yes! You can get pregnant whenever you have sex, and it doesn't make any difference if you do it in a bath or standing up, either. If you don't feel ready to be a parent, use use effective birth control right from the start.
If he "pulls out" (before ejaculation) is it still possible for me to get pregnant?
Once again, yes. Males secrete "pre-cum" fluids long before they ejaculate, and the pre-cum usually contains sperm. "Pulling-out", also known as "withdrawal", is NOT a method of birth control.
If he "pulls out" (before ejaculation) is it still possible for me to get pregnant?
Once again, yes. Males secrete "pre-cum" fluids long before they ejaculate, and the pre-cum usually contains sperm. "Pulling-out", also known as "withdrawal", is NOT a method of birth control.
Will it hurt?
Many girls worry that it will hurt when they have sex for the first time. It can hurt, but often not a lot, and some girls do bleed a little bit. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse.
The hymen is a small piece of thin skin which goes across the opening of a girl's vagina and protects it when she is young. It has some gaps in it where the blood can come out when she has her period. Sometimes a girl might already having broken her hymen without knowing about it - this can happen as a result of playing sports or bicycle riding.
Sex the first time shouldn't hurt for a boy, but he can make it easier for his partner by being gentle and taking it slowly - try to make it special for you both.
Some women enjoy their first time having sex. However, do not be discouraged if this is not the case for you. In almost all cases, the subsequent sexual encounters get better, and more enjoyable. There are, however, ways for you to avoid an unpleasant first experience.
The hymen is a small piece of thin skin which goes across the opening of a girl's vagina and protects it when she is young. It has some gaps in it where the blood can come out when she has her period. Sometimes a girl might already having broken her hymen without knowing about it - this can happen as a result of playing sports or bicycle riding.
Sex the first time shouldn't hurt for a boy, but he can make it easier for his partner by being gentle and taking it slowly - try to make it special for you both.
Some women enjoy their first time having sex. However, do not be discouraged if this is not the case for you. In almost all cases, the subsequent sexual encounters get better, and more enjoyable. There are, however, ways for you to avoid an unpleasant first experience.
Tips
Be sure you are in the right state of mind. Make sure that sex is something that you really want, and do not feel pressured into it. If you are not psychologically turned on, the sex will not be as much fun. Also, try to get any negative thoughts on sex out of your mind (any guilt you might feel, for example).
Be sure you are fully aroused. Spend a lot of time doing foreplay, and try not to rush it. The more lubricated you are, the more enjoyable the sex will be.
Use extra lubrication. A lot of the pain experienced during sex by women is caused by a lack of adequate lubrication. You may naturally be nervous your first time, which may prevent you from becoming fully aroused. Using extra lubrication, such as KY Jelly or AstroGlide, will ensure a smoother first sexual experience.
Use protection. Sex without worries of pregnancy and STDs is always more enjoyable, even if it takes a few moments away from foreplay to get set up (put the condom on, use spermicide, etc).
Be sure you are fully aroused. Spend a lot of time doing foreplay, and try not to rush it. The more lubricated you are, the more enjoyable the sex will be.
Use extra lubrication. A lot of the pain experienced during sex by women is caused by a lack of adequate lubrication. You may naturally be nervous your first time, which may prevent you from becoming fully aroused. Using extra lubrication, such as KY Jelly or AstroGlide, will ensure a smoother first sexual experience.
Use protection. Sex without worries of pregnancy and STDs is always more enjoyable, even if it takes a few moments away from foreplay to get set up (put the condom on, use spermicide, etc).
Is it legal?
The age of consent differs between countries. India's age of consent for heterosexual sex is 16 except in Manipur, where it is 14. If the partners are married then a lower age of consent applies (13 in Manipur and 15 elsewhere) Its illegal to have sex if you are below these age limits
So why do we have a legal age for having sex? Because this is the age when the government believes young people are mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with having sex. All too often people think they are ready when they’re not. Age of consent laws are also designed to prevent older people from taking advantage of children and young teenagers who may not understand the consequences of having sex, or even what sex is.
So why do we have a legal age for having sex? Because this is the age when the government believes young people are mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with having sex. All too often people think they are ready when they’re not. Age of consent laws are also designed to prevent older people from taking advantage of children and young teenagers who may not understand the consequences of having sex, or even what sex is.
What is virginity?
A 'virgin' is traditionally seen as someone who has never had sexual intercourse before. However, people have different ideas about what 'losing your virginity' means. For some, it's simply having heterosexual sex for the first time. For others, it can mean having any sort of sex – including gay or lesbian sex – for the first time.
Does oral/ fingering/ anal/ masturbation count as losing your virginity?
This is a difficult question, and again, people have different views. Whether you think these things 'count' or not, don't forget that all of them can transmit STDs. And whatever you think 'being a virgin' means, remember that the most important thing is making sure you're ready before you do anything sexual.
She/ he is not a virgin but I am
Don't let that make you feel inferior - being a good lover is about sensitivity, not experience. And the advantage is that you don't have the pressure of being their first. He or she's more experienced - that's a good thing, your partner knows what to expect.
Won't I look inexperienced if I admit it's my first time?
No - be honest with your partner; let them know you haven't been with anyone else. There's nothing embarrassing about saying "I'm a virgin!". If you're close enough to someone to be thinking about having sex, you should be close enough to be able to talk honestly to them. If they know it's your first time, your partner will know to go easy on you.
Will we be able to enjoy it?
First-time sex doesn't always hurt, but it isn't guaranteed to be great, either. Some couples say that on their first time they both enjoyed it, other couples say that neither of them had an orgasm. It's an individual thing, just try not to expect too much from your first time - like anything else, it takes a while to learn about your body and about your partner's. Just make sure that you're ready and you've got contraception sorted out. Talk to your partner, try to make it special and enjoyable for you both.
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